Dreadful

Something that makes me really sad. The first thing i do when I reached home today – break down. Pull out my shoes, throw my phlegm tablet into the water waiting for it to dissolve, and start to think about what my daddy had done for me.

He never forgets my birthday. He just don’t.

He will scrimp and save every bit of his money to get me something. Anything. An Ang bao to childish teddy bear. Because I am his princess.

2 years ago, he gave me a birthday, those pre-made one, with music. Even though that card don’t have much words,”生日快乐 – 猫爸” (Happy Birthday, daddy cat) but… Every time when I open up that card, that out-of-tune birthday song(due to flat battery) goes again. It’s just heartbreaking. Today its the 10th month he’s not here. Too painful to celebrate my 18th birthday. I hope I can dream of him later.

I want to do something crazy, or just keep myself busy the whole day. I feel extremely down. I bet my sob is echoing in my house now. I want to go out and work, because I regretted, because I dont have the money For my dad to go for surgery to correct his vision. When he was ill and sick in the hospital, I was so sad, he wouldn’t even recognise his own daughter. He thought I am the nurse because his sight is blurred
I will work, earn and save as much money as I can. I must have money.

Seriously, the pain is overwhelming. The price is too much. I miss him.